bow your heads

vincent darkheart · 01-22-2006, 07:15 PM

bow your heads

these are the times for remorse
in the game of life we will all be ended
but then why be here, of course
we wouldnt be here for it either
i cannot tell how much weve fought
really i know some do neither
im so lost in these thoughts
i cant fel who is real
ever able to feel
no longer i can stand
how we all can die
in this world of life and play
its so depressing
how everyone is just bleeding
never feeling

thank you for al comments i need criticism of course be brutal

01-22-2006, 08:19 PM

vincent darkheart- it's nice, I like it. Just perhaps concider the rhythm, and beats per line. Heh.. I always say that don't I?!

vincent darkheart · 01-25-2006, 12:42 PM

thank you very much

01-26-2006, 11:11 AM

Nice poem...

vincent darkheart · 01-29-2006, 01:23 AM

again thank you

01-22-2006, 07:15 PM	#1
vincent darkheart Elder Dragon Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: texas Posts: 940	bow your heads bow your heads these are the times for remorse in the game of life we will all be ended but then why be here, of course we wouldnt be here for it either i cannot tell how much weve fought really i know some do neither im so lost in these thoughts i cant fel who is real ever able to feel no longer i can stand how we all can die in this world of life and play its so depressing how everyone is just bleeding never feeling thank you for al comments i need criticism of course be brutal __________________ My Dragon Code (version 2.6): DC2. Gm L2f0.5a0.5l0.75n4t3w W-- T- Ptflhkw Skx C_\bl++_,ehg-_&1ch+^ B? A- Fr? Ne M++1 O H~ $~ Fo R Ac+ J+ S U* I-- V Q- Tc-- E++

01-25-2006, 12:42 PM	#3
vincent darkheart Elder Dragon Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: texas Posts: 940	thank you very much __________________ My Dragon Code (version 2.6): DC2. Gm L2f0.5a0.5l0.75n4t3w W-- T- Ptflhkw Skx C_\bl++_,ehg-_&1ch+^ B? A- Fr? Ne M++1 O H~ $~ Fo R Ac+ J+ S U* I-- V Q- Tc-- E++

01-29-2006, 01:23 AM	#5
vincent darkheart Elder Dragon Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: texas Posts: 940	again thank you __________________ My Dragon Code (version 2.6): DC2. Gm L2f0.5a0.5l0.75n4t3w W-- T- Ptflhkw Skx C_\bl++_,ehg-_&1ch+^ B? A- Fr? Ne M++1 O H~ $~ Fo R Ac+ J+ S U* I-- V Q- Tc-- E++

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01-22-2006, 08:19 PM	#2
Stranger In Black Posts: n/a	vincent darkheart- it's nice, I like it. Just perhaps concider the rhythm, and beats per line. Heh.. I always say that don't I?!